When I'm mad, working out helps me calm down.....

One thing I've learned over the past two and half months is that after I workout I feel so much better about life!  I've also found that if I'm upset or mad, if I workout I will calm down and fee so much better faster than holding in my anger!

An example of this happened yesterday.  Both of my sons are in scouts.  We had to go to the scout expo because both of their pine wood derby cars won in there troops and so they needed to race them again against the other troops winners.

Like everything, we knew about this forever......but we waited until the last minute to get their cars ready.  My husband was in charge of this and we had to get one of my sons a new car and make it and he wasn't able to do this until the day before.....So the morning of Bryan was running around getting things done on the car.  he even had it weighed at the post office!  We knew we had to be there at 10:30 for the first race.....Well as we are driving there, my husband reads the information to find out we really needed to be there at 9:00am!  We were and hour and 15 minutes late.  I dropped Bryan off and he went to see if we could still race and lucky for us it still worked out.  So that was good!

My son designed his car to look the same in the front and back.  So a sticker was placed on the front so he would know which was the front of the car.  When he raced his first leg, he put his car on the track backwards.  My husband yelled out for him to fix his car.  (side note) I HATE when he yells and draws attention to us.  I HATE it!  It makes me so uncomfortable.  To me his voice always sounds mad and I hate people thinking he's mad at his kids or myself.  It makes me so upset!  I asked Bryan to not yell.  So....anyway the first race was a loss.  The next race he won when his car was facing the right direction.

Here comes the part with me getting mad.  My husband came over and informed me that it was all my fault his car lost the first race.  If I would of let him get his car turned around he would of won!  This is a big problem we have in our marriage.  It's ALWAYS my fault!  ALWAYS!  Things completely out of my control are all my fault!  This makes me so mad!  I asked for the keys so I could go sit in the car.  he would not give me the keys.  So I walked home!  It was a 3.5 mile walk in the rain carrying my purse!  At least I have my running shoes on!  I was so mad!  I just had to get out of there!  The longer I walked the better I was feeling but I was still mad at my husband!  These situations span our entire marriage!  I know that some of my weight issues and self esteem issues have to do with situations like this. 

It's took me 90 minutes to walk 3.5 miles.  The closer I got to home the more determined I was to finish.   When I got home I was drenched in rain and sweat.  I jumped in the shower ate lunch and felt so much better!  Inside I felt better!  I was still mad at my husband but personally I felt better.  Something about music and exercise sure makes like better.

I'll never understand why everything that goes wrong is somehow my fault.  I'll never understands his need to always blame someone.  Btu I do know that I can control how I deal with the situation.  And sometimes that is just by leaving and going for a nice walk!