The reason for my blog name

My blog name, Inside I'm Skinny, I really truly feel this way.  I don't see myself as an obese person.  Ever since I was thin like ten years ago, I have never seen myself as being over weight.  it's like the image of how I was then is forever etched in my mind.  When I took at myself in a mirror or in a picture, I'm SHOCKED!  Some people always see themselves as fat when they are very thin but I don't know to many people in my case.   Maybe this is a real thing, maybe some people do see themselves as skinny when they are indeed fat.  So you think?  Or am I alone?

Ever time I see myself in a picture I feel like I look disgusting!  Even now that I'm on a weight loss journey and have lost 27 pounds, I just can't seem to visually see the weight loss yet.  People are telling me they can tell, my clothes a looser, so it must be true.  I really must have lost 27 pounds!  But I can't see it!  It's hard! 

Losing weight can be very discouraging.  It's an up hill battle for sure!   I play mind games with myself and I even have conversations with myself in my head.  I try and talk myself out of working out or eating healthy.  One of the conversations I have with my head every time I work out is this,   

 

my head: At least your at the gym right?

 

me: Yes

 

my head:  as long as you are moving you are doing more than if you were at home

 

me: that's true, I don't need to push myself. 

 

my head: yeah if you were home in bed or on the couch you wouldn't been burning any calories

 

me: that's true, I'll just walk the track or treadmill or maybe slowly pedal the bike.  I'll just be there in the class but not work very hard today.

 

me head: yeah tat will be good, it's better than not doing anything at all!

 

me:  STOP!  You didn't get up early to quit early! (my trainer said this all the time)

 

me: Don't you quit! (another classic from my trainer)

I think we all do this.  No matter if it's with working out or whatever, we all play this game.

I do this with eating healthy too.  I tell myself that just one won't hurt or I've ate healthy all day or all week, I deserve a treat!  We aren't not dogs!  Do not reward yourself with food!  It's so easy to reward yourself with food.   It's an easy and inexpensive reward.  I could be rewarding myself with diamonds or tropical vacations....but no I choose food!  Food as always been my friend.  Food loves me and I love it! We get each other!