I will try and include pictures as often as I can but lets be honest, I have not included myself in pictures much over the past 10 years. I want to give you a bit of some back ground information on me and my past diets. When I got married on February 2, 2002 I weighed approximately 130-150 pounds.
I was HAPPY with my weight but still not completely happy with my body. I felt like I need to to tone up and exercise would be helpful but my whole life I have absolutely HATED to exercise and get sweaty and dirty and gross.
About five years before I got married I started to loose weight. I was never a skinny girl. I always felt fat compared to my friends even when I was young. All through elementary school, middle school, Jr high and high school I felt bigger than most girls my age. As I look back at pictures I was not really. In high school I might of been but I was in no way fat! I guess I just had skinny friends! I could never really trade clothes with my friends, even though I was never allowed too.....if I had been allowed too, I still would have never been able to fit in my friends clothes. I tried a couple times but it just wasn't going to happen. I do remember in Jr High wearing a pair of my friends, Aunts pair of jeans. Those jeans did fit but that was my friends AUNT! I guess she was at least 15 years older than me. That is not a good thing! Good for her aunt but not good for me!
I did not have a good self esteem! I just never felt as cute as my friends or my little sister who is four years younger than me. I was always the funny one and my sister was the beauty queen. I was never jealous of her. I was happy for her. I was glad she would never have to worry about her looks or weight. I still am the funny one! My sister still is the super sexy skinny, healthy sister! I love her! BUT now I'm jealous! She has worked hard and always watched her food an worked out! I know now that it wasn't always easy for her either. We all have our issues.
So growing up.......boys never liked me. I was never asked to a single school dance. I asked boys to the girls choice dances because it was all just for fun but even then the boys I asked, really didn't want to go with me. I even asked boys from my church group and who lived in my neighborhood, more like brother type boys. I was never thinking I would need to marry them. Boys were weird back then at those ages. I now understand but at the time it hurt. I didn't understand why they didn't want to just go have fun! They did eventually say yes and we went to the dances but I know they didn't want to go! In fact years later, my brother told me that one of the boys moms actually paid him to say yes to me and go with me to the dance. I'm not sure if the other by said yes on his own but at least I never hear otherwise. That was hard at a pre teen and teenager.
Also growing up my siblings weren't very nice to me. I know now that we were all just kids and kids can be mean but my brothers would call me big Al. I still am called Al by lots of the people I love but having BIG in front of it really hurt me. Kids will be kids but it hurt too.
To be honest, I never even went on a real date or had my first kiss until I was 21 years old. At the very end of senior year in high school I did have a boyfriend for a minute but we never went on a real date or kiss. We would just "hang out". That was fun but still not the same as my other friends. Now I'm OK with it. I'm in ways glad I didn't have all that boyfriend drama in high school. I'm soooooo glad I didn't get married right out of high school like a lot of my friends did. Even though they are happy, I was glad that I was able to experience some things before getting married and having kids. So that is a bit of my early years back ground. I just want you to get an idea of where I am coming from.
In 1995 I started working for an herb company, Nature Sunshine Products in Prove, Utah http://www.naturessunshine.com . They sell everything from vitamins and herbs to weight loss products and personal care products. I started taking their weight loss products and very quickly lost weight. So quickly that my clothes were not fitting almost over night. People were noticing me! I was loving it! I continued using these types of weight loss herbs for 7 years! Literately everyday 3 times a day I would use these products. To the point that five minutes after eating, I would have to run to the bathroom! Nothing would stay in my system. But I was addicted to the weight loss and scared that if I stopped I would get fat! I even took an 18 month supply with me on my mission I served for my church in Hawaii.
I started dating my husband in October 2001 and we were married on February 2, 2002. I stopped taking herbal weight loss products about four months after we were married. My system was so messed up! After stopping them I immediately started my weight gain journey!
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