So since I started this blog just a few days ago.....I have been thinking long and hard on how I want it to go. At first I thought I would just start from now and add bits and pieces of my past in their to give you an idea on where I'm coming from. As I have thought and pondered on it, I just want to let everything off my chest. I know people will read this blog but most likely the people who read it will already know a lot of the things I will mention. But I really truly feel like all of these things have played a huge roll in who I am today and why I allowed myself to gain so much weight. I'm sure the main reason is and always has been that I just love food and loathe working out! Somehow I think maybe some of these things have played a roll. Maybe I'm trying to find a reason to it all. Maybe I'm wanting to blame something besides myself, maybe. BUT I also think the reason for my weight issues is based primarily on my self esteem. I know it's called self esteem because it is how one feels about them self but I truly believe that the way people treat you can have a huge impact on your self esteem. I know people will disagree, and maybe it will just be my husband who disagrees but it's how I feel and this is my blog and he has given me permission to say whatever I want. He also did say he would be writing his own blog to give his side of the story.....so look forward to that! LOL It's my blog and I'll say what I want too! So there! :P I figure that I'm pretty much an open book as it is. All my close family and friends already know most of these things and know how I feel about almost everything. But it really helps me to write things down. So beware this could get very personal but I'm OK with that. I do worry that I might hurt someones feelings or embarrass someone and hopefully that won't happen. I'm sure when people write a book on there life they feel that same way! I feel safe knowing only a handful of people will read this and they most likely have already heard these stories......Lets hope!
well for starters I have enjoyed reading this blog. I am very impressed with what you have done so far to get in tip-top shape.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I totally agree that other people shape your self esteem. It is so hard to shake the negativity from others. People can be so mean even though I think most of the time they have no idea the impact their thoughlessness has on others. I know for myself I am still working on not letting what others say or have said in the past affect me.
Lastly, I think I told you this before but as a kid I was so jealous of you. I thought you were so cute. I never thought of you as being "fat" when we were growing up.
Keep up the great work!
p.s. running is very therapeutic!
Thanks Steph! You are so sweet! I remember you telling me how you were jealous of my pierced ears! I was jealous of your big house!
ReplyDeleteI also have to applaud your commitment and hard work thus far. Way to go Allison!! And I agree with both of you that people's words and actions have far more of an effect on our self esteem than any of us would like to admit. I know that I find myself on both sides of the fence quite often and I don't like it on either side. I find myself feeling incredibly insecure and worried about what others think about the way I look, dress, speak, etc and probably end up being absolutely no fun because I'm too wrapped up in worrying about how others will perceive me or what they'll say about me, as I'm sure you're well aware because I think I was even more self conscious back in high school (if that's even possible). :)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I just want you to know that you have lots of us behind you and cheering you on and wishing you the very best! I know you can do this!
So now comes the feminist part of me.... He gave you permission? Really? Permission? I'm sure you misspoke, I'm sure he simply gave his blessing, because as a grown woman you need no one's permission to do anything (as long as it's not illegal), right? ;-) Ummm... yeah... if you haven't noticed by now, sometimes I offer unsolicited opinions.
I truly wish you the best of luck! Thanks for being such a great example of good attitude and commitment! I hope to follow in your footsteps.
Teniele you rock! Yeah you are right, i didnt exactly ask permission ....i think a lit of us feel the same way but ine thing has always bothered me, why dont we all openly share, if we did i think more people would realize we are all human and we could all learn and grow from everyone being honest.
DeleteAlli you are doing awesome, I am sooo impressed with your blog and honesty. However I do have an answer for your last question....why dont we all openly share??? As you may remember there has been times when we have disagreed on a couple things....I shared my honest sincere thoughts and feelings and unfortunately you disagreed and felt differently....not everyone is willing to listen to someone else's truth without being hurt or feeling like that person is pointing a finger at them....I believe people tend to be less honest because they are afraid of offending other people.....i myself have learned not to say everything I feel....for the mere fact i don't want to lose people that i love and care about.....i dont want them to take me off their friend list on facebook...lol...I love you Allison, and hope this helps answer that question!!!
DeleteYes Amy i do remember a time when we didn't see eye to eye. It's all a learning experience this thing we call life. I love you more now than ever and I'm sure it has to do with some of our good and bad times we have had. I learned from you when you shared your feelings. I might not of liked your feelings but I did learn! :) XOXOX
DeleteLove you Alli, sorry if sometimes I am too honest with my feelings and have hurt yours!! I have always treasured and loved my extended family...my girl cousins are the sisters I never had...I love you!
ReplyDeleteAmy, You know honestly, I can't even remember what our fights were ever over. Isn't that funny! I can't ever remember if you hurt my feeling or not. It seems like a lifetime ago. Love you!!!
ReplyDelete