I need to get my groove back!!!

It's been EIGHT days since I've worked out!!!  Yes you heard it right, EIGHT days!  I'm in desperate need of getting my groove back.  Here is what happened....EIGHT days ago I was sooooo sore!  I have been working on my running skills.  I have been walking up hill one mile and then running most of it down.  It's a nice steady incline, nothing serious.  But man oh man were my legs hurting!  I think my poor legs are wishing I'd miraculously drop 75 pounds over night so they wouldn't be in so much pain carrying all this body around!  Soon enough...soon enough.  But until then this slow and steady wins the race stuff sucks!  I've been at a stand still in my weight loss for a few weeks not which seems like forever!  During the biggest loser challenge in my community I was able to drop 30 pounds during the 9 weeks and then a week or two after but since then NOTHING!   I'm sure my EIGHT days of no calorie burn hasn't helped one little bit either!

So after being to sore to work out....I also started my new job!  I'm on day three of training and so far so good.  There are eighteen people in my training class.  Thirteen boys and five girls!  I think I'm the third oldest in the class!  So weird to feel old.  But everyone is always surprised that I am really as old as I am! So that is good right?!?!?!  Anyway, I know sit ALL DAY LONG!  I mean I did that most my life anyway but since my new healthy lifestyle, this sitting all day thing isn't playing in my favor!  So I definitely need to figure out a way to work in my work out.  Right now I have to wake up at 6:00am to get ready for work and to be there at 7:30am.  So if I workout I have to get up at FIVE IN THE MORNING!  I know, I know, it's not that early and I did it for 10 weeks during the weight loss challenge but now it's so hard!  I need to just get over it and do it!  Ok that's it, tomorrow morning I will wake up at FIVE IN THE MORNING and workout.  Deal? Deal.

On a good note.....I have been eating very healthy!  Still sticking to that great!!!  NO fatty food! It's temping to drink a Diet Coke or Diet Dr Pepper still but I'm holding strong.  It's been  103 days since my last drink!

 It's really fun for me to work and get to know new people.  I love people!  LOVE PEOPLE!  So I am looking forward to being a working woman again.  It works out well since my husband is out of school for the summer!  Then in the fall I'll need to find a daycare for my almost four year old since he's not in school full time yet.  But it will only be for a few hours a day.  So that won't kill anyone.

Well, there ya got it folks!  I'm a slacker BUT I will get my groove back and quick like FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!!!  

Too Tired

Do you ever feel tired all the time?  I do!  I have known this about myself for quite sometime.  I used to think it was just in my genes to take naps.  My mom is a napper and I grew up taking naps.  But I have never gotten out of the habit or whatever it is!  Is it a habit or is my body really that tired.  I find myself going to bed around 10:30pm and I usually wake up at some point in the night and am up for an hour or so and then I can get back to sleep and then when I wake up around 7:00 am I don't feel rested.  By the time noon comes I would like a nap!  Is this normal?  I have told every doctor I ever seen that I'm always tired but nobody seems to be concerned.  So I keep just plugging along.  They usually check my thyroid and blood count and whatever else but nothing comes up abnormal.  I have always been good at taking vitamins.  I always take a multi vitamin as well as other vitamins.  Not sure why, I guess they are good for you.   So I hate that I'm always tired and I hate that I always want a nap.  Lucky for me or maybe it's not lucky but I have been able to take naps.  Whether or it's been when my kids are taking naps or if my husband is home watching the kids I have been able to nap.  I hate that its wasting time but I honestly can't function without it!  At least that's how I feel. I'm looking into supplements for my chronic fatigue or adrenal fatigue problem!  Anyone have any tips?  I have been eating great and working out for 3 1/2 months now and I'm still tired.  I do stress a lot and have major anxiety in lots of situations.  I wonder if that is causing my belly fat to stay put.  I wonder if I was less stressed out and had less anxiety if I would loos more weight!  I'm kind of at a stand still right now and it's frustrating.  I'm not gaining but I'm not loosing.  Time to switch it up a bit I guess.

So I'm starting a new job on Monday!  I'm pretty excited but worried.  I won't be able to take my mid day nap!  What will I do?!?!?!? LOL

I took my Prozac today!

So the other day I went to the doctor.  I thought in order to get my hormone checked I needed to go to an OBGYN.  So I found one and went.  It was not a good experience!  I waited for about 40 minutes and then was back in the room for about 5 minutes and that included the vaginal exam!  Now I'm not sure why I had to get a vaginal exam since I don't have a uterus or a cervix but OK.....Then he asked me what I'm here for and I said, Well I want to get my hormones tested.  I feel like I'm going crazy!  He said OK lets get some blood work and I'll see you back in THREE weeks to talk about it!!!  THREE week!  Seriously?!?!?!  I could kill a person by then!  So then I had to go to the hospital to get the blood work done.  

Later that day I was talking to my nurse cousin and she was like what are they testing you for that takes three weeks?  So I called the lab and they already had my results!  That was 1 day later!  Not THREE weeks!  So I called my family doctor and got an appointment for the next today to have him go over my results rather than waiting so long to go back to the OB.  I really like our family doctor so far.  He's seen my kids once and now me and so far so good.  

Well.......get this!  ALL of my hormone levels are normal!  So I guess it's OK to freak out at people and want to divorce your husband every other week   Yeah that's normal right???  Well after lots of questions we came to the conclusion I have PMDD.  That is Premenstrual dysphoric disorder!

Might be an easy diagnosis but I'll take it if there is something I can do to help it!  So I was put back on Prozac.  I was on it for awhile and went off it about 7 months or so ago.  Thinking I can handle life without it but apparently I can't!  So welcome back happy pill!!!  I welcome you!

So today was my second day on it and I'm actually already feeling a little better.  I also started taking DHEA.  It's a natural products that helps with mood and lots of other good things so I figured why not!  I sure hope it works!  

Today I actually have been pretty pleasant to be around!  My and my husband actually worked on putting laundry way together and I didn't kill him and I wasn't ever even mean! Wahoo!

Here's to drugs!

Like a roller coster

This roller coaster looks like my life!!!

See all those ups and downs???  Yep my life!

So it's been a few days since I have wrote.  This has probable been my longest break since I started this blog.   I've been feeling blah!  Do you ever feel that way or is it just me?  I feel ornery, impatient, annoyed all of those things!  When this happens I like to think back and give myself a little evaluation.  First thing I ask myself, How are you eating?  I am still eating good.  I'm staying under my calorie goal or at it.  I'm not going over.  BUT I think I need to get more fruits and veggies in my body.  That is the only thing I can think of that is different oh and I did have some peanut butter M&M's the other day and a candy bar yesterday!  Crap!!!  This is the weird part!  Honestly I don't have a sweet tooth!  My sister laughs at me because she has a major sweet tooth and I always tell her how I'm not much of sweets person.  It's true!  But we have had this on going joke for years!!!  It's funny to us!  So when I decided to be healthy once and for all, giving up sugar wasn't hard for me.  The hard part was giving up fast, deliciously greasy food!  I LOVE fast food!  It sounds gross now but at the time of my life change I loved it!  Honestly I never ate candy.  If I ever did it always tested to sweet and I couldn't even finish a jolly rancher!  That was until my mouth met peanut butter M&M's or anything with chocolate and peanut butter!  Oh my gosh!  So now I know I can not have those things or I will eat way to much!  I have not self control.  If it's good I just eat it and eat it!

Next thing I ask myself, how are your workouts?  Well I have been working out on the treadmill a lot lately.  I got lazy about the gym.  I have to get up so early to get to to the 6am classes I love!  I found out that I burn as many if not more calories by running and walking a fast pace on the treadmill.  So I have been able to sleep in an hour longer and just go out to my garage and workout.  So that is still good but I have missed a day here and there where as with the big looser challenge I didn't miss a day of working out!  I even worked out on vacation! Shocker!

So this roller coaster I am on.....I have no idea why!  Maybe I need to go back to the basics and kinda start over!  I bet that will be a good thing.  Kinda start this whole process over and get a fresh start!  I probable need to workout out 2 times a day rather than 1.  I am sure that will help too but I hate getting all sweaty two times a day!  Two showers, two times doing my hair, lots of added laundry! Ugg!  Excuses, excuses!!!

I really hope that when I go to the doctor today, he find something wrong with my hormones!  Maybe that will explain this roller coaster!  I mean I have been very ornery lately!  Mostly to my husband!  I know it and I just don't even care!  That's not good!!!  

If the doctor finds nothing wrong and I am in normal ranges, then what!  I know I don't feel right!  I feel like I'm off balance somewhere!  It's a mystery!

Starting to run v e r y s l o w l y

Ever since February 2, 2012 When I started on my weight loss journey, I have been fearful of running!  My whole life I have hated to run.  I now know it's all about brain power!  I never had a desire to run and so when ever I was asked to run I hated to do it and would get around it some how if at all possible.  In some of the classes I take at the gym, we run in between circuits.  I do manage to make it once around the track most of the time in the minute we are given before we need to be back to the next circuit station. 

Yesterday I had a personal training session with my trainer.  We each won one!  It was a great prize!  I paid for one earlier on and it was worth every penny.    Well yesterday this one was free.  I love free!  It was great!  I have been wanting to run more and learn how to love it!  So we worked on the treadmill.  She had me walk at 3.0 for two minutes and then run at 6.0 for one minute.  We did this for 30 minutes.

One thing I finally learned is that I am getting the brain power and determination!  I am seeing the benefits of running!  In the 30 minutes of this interval training I burned as many calories as I do when I walk 3 miles in a hour!  It was awesome!!!

So today I went out to my home treadmill and did the same thing!  It was harder not having my trainer by my side to cheer me on but I did it!  

I have also seen a change in myself!  I noticed it yesterday with my trainer and so did she.  For some reason when I am working out or running or jogging or whatever.....I will stop a few seconds early on everything!  It's like my brain doesn't want to do what it's supposed to do or has been asked to do.  If I am asked to run for one minute, I will automatically stop at 57 seconds or so.  I HATE that I do this!  It makes me so mad!  I'm cheating myself!  I have been working on not stopping early. I have been working on this for a couple weeks.  The first time I did this was with the 9K and I totally let myself down and felt horrible!  I never wanted that feeling again. Well NOW I don't do that!  I go until the time is up and maybe a second or two past just to do it!  I feels so good!  I now will set a goal for myself with every workout.  Now when I get done working out I know that I did my absolute best and I didn't let myself down.  It's a great feeling!

My trainer also recommend a book for me to read.  It's my Jillian Michaels and it's called Master Your Metabolism.  I am totally going to get this book!  She also asked me to write five things on sticky notes and stick them on my bathroom mirror.  Here are mine,

1- I am strong

2- I can do anything

3- I am loved

4- Don't you quit

5- I am 130 pounds ( my goal weight)

It really does help to have these reminders!

Someday I hope to be able to run at a 6.0 or faster for longer than a minute!  I will keep working on it and slowly but surly I'm going to do it!

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